Hold on Snoopy

Why would anyone tap my phone
or monitor my email stream?
I have no cover to be blown
I am exactly who I seem

What if they don’t like the jokes I’ve shared
or those private discreet little rants?
Surely my point of view can’t be compared
to a loony with a bomb in his pants?

I must take exception, I must protest
since my rights have been sorely abused
I thought being the good guy was what we did best
but now I am deeply confused